The Dog's Diary: Friends?
by Natmonkey
Summary: In this fifth entry of a diary that's not really a diary because dogs can't write very well, Stubbs welcomes the new addition to the party. He doesn't trust him.


_I made some minor changes, because maybe it's not so obvious who the "skinny human" is. Thanks, sonofmaster. I apologize for any inconvenience; this part of the _Dog's Diary_ goes with _Astoreth does Ferelden, part 6_, and I simply assume that whoever reads these short stories, reads _AdF _as well. But, I should know that isn't the case. Again, sorry. I hope it's a little more obvious now. Stubbs just isn't very good with names._

* * *

"Yay lady, you killed it!" My tail starts wagging. I'm so proud of my lady! She can kill things with fire and stuff, and now with weapons too. Yay! She doesn't believe it, but it's true. I saw it myself. The human hurt her, and she hurt it right back. She hurt it until it was dead.

One of the enemies is still alive. It's one of those small humans, with pointy ears. I don't like this one, even if it smells kind of nice; he wanted to kill my lady. What would I do without my lady? Follow Tin Can? Nah. He's nice, but he talks too much. The lady is the only one for me. I love her. She feeds me, pets me, and rubs my belly. I don't want a lot else. Well, a mate, maybe. Someday.

What? Why is Pointy Ears coming with us? Why? He tried to kill you! No, nice female, don't untie him! The lady is too nice sometimes. I would have just killed him. Oh, I'm going to have to watch him. Yes. To protect my lady. I growl at the pointy eared human, and he looks at me like he's scared. Yay! I'm fearsome! Roar!

* * *

"I don't trust you!" I tell the new human. He says nothing. "You hear me? I don't trust you!" Why is he staring at my lady? He better not try to sniff her butt. Or isn't that something humans do? I don't know. Maybe he stares because of all the food she's eating. The other females don't eat this much. The lady eats a lot. I think that's why her belly is getting bigger. It used to be just a little round, and now it's rounder. Not really big, but if she keeps on eating like this, soon she won't be able to walk upright anymore. Ooh, she's looking at me. The lady makes me so happy.

* * *

"Must you follow me about so?" Heh, Pointy Ears talks funny. He isn't happy. I still don't trust him, and the lady said I should watch him. In case he tries to kill her again. "Truly, can you not sleep in your mistress' room?"

"Nope!" I follow him in and jump on the bed. Ooh, comfy. "The lady says I have to watch you. I don't trust you."

Pointy Ears sighs. "That is just marvellous. I am stuck in this cold, unforgiving place and now my room will smell like dog too."

"What's wrong with dog smell? Dog smell is good!" I roll around on the bed. It's nice. I wish I had a bed for myself always. "I like sniffing other dogs. They smell fine to me."

"Off the bed with you!" He is angry. "I will not share my sheets with a smelly mabari."

I jump off. "Humph. Okay, fine. I'll stay on the floor. But I still don't trust you!"

"That is much better." Pointy Ears takes off his smooth, greenish pelt. Creepy! You're not supposed to be able to take off your skin! This one is brown under that pelt. The others are all whitish. These humans can all remove their pelt. Eep. They have no hair at all, do they? Tin Can does, though. He has fur on his chest, under his metal hide. How do they keep themselves warm? With fabric things, of course. The new human crawls under the covers. "Well, goodnight, dog."

"Goodnight, Pointy Ears." I sit near the edge of the bed so I can watch him very well. "Have I mentioned that I still don't trust you?"

* * *

Hey, there's the skinny human again! The lady's friend is out of his cage. I followed Pointy Ears into this room (he behaved the entire night and now I'm tired), and there were all these people, putting food on a table. Human food; I want a bone, or some meat. Still waiting. They did give me a bowl of water though. Nice of them. I'm even sitting on a chair. It's not as cold as the ground, so my butt doesn't get frozen. That's good. Oh, smells like the lady and her friend have been mating! And the lady looks much happier. Yay! She was a little sad, after she came back from her old house. She wouldn't tell me why. Tin Can said something about her losing her mate. That is sad. If I would lose the lady, I would be sad too. Not that the lady is my mate, but she is my... My everything! Except for mate. That would be wrong.

Oh, there they go, the lady and her friend. He stole her food while she was talking to Pointy Ears and Tin Can, and touching her too! I looked under the table when I noticed how the lady's smell changed. Nobody can fool me. She didn't seem to mind, so I didn't bite him. She didn't even seem to feel it. That is funny. Because he was touching her special place. When _she_ touches it, she moans and stuff. Maybe the skinny human wasn't doing it right. I bet they are going to mate now. They both smelled like they were ready for it. I wonder what she sees in the skinny human? It looks far too weak to protect her. And they have the same black fur too... I hope they're not from the same litter. That would be wrong. The lady says she grew up with this human, and that they have been friends for a long, long time. And now they're mating. Humans sure like mating. When will I get to mate?

The two are hardly out of the room before Tin Can and Pointy Ears start talking about them.

"Do you also get the feeling that they are more than just friends?" Pointy Ears whispers in that funny voice of his.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous." Tin Can sounds angry; he doesn't like Pointy Ears. That's smart, because Pointy Ears could be dangerous. "She told me they've been friends most of their lives. You weren't there the last time we came here; they seem very close, but not _that_ close."

I can tell them what's really going on. "They're mating!"

"Friends with benefits, perhaps?" Pointy Ears laughs. "Who could resist a woman like that?"

Hey, don't ignore me. "You guys!" I say. "I'm telling you, they're mating!" This would be much easier if they understood me.

Tin Can gives Pointy Ears an angry look. "I'm warning you: don't try anything funny with her."

"_They_!_ Are_!_ Mating_!" This is so... What's the word? Fr... Frustrating. Yes. Again they ignore me and now start fighting about the lady. "_Mating_!" Still nothing. Aw... These humans never listen to me.


End file.
